||[Sep. 22nd, 2006|01:20 pm]
Backstory: Holly and I each have one horribly snooty cat and one sweet-but-dumb cat. Holly's sweet-but-dumb cat can be seen here, sporting his new lion cut. Mine get along with each other most of the time, her two sorta don't. |
This is the conversation that would ensue if our cats met.
Cast of characters:
Baine: My snooty cat, long-haired grey tabby male, mostly Maine Coon
Valor: My lovable dimwit cat, shorthaired orange tabby male
Mayoke: Holly's snooty cat, shorthaired Siamese female
Flufftard: Holly's dimwit, normally-long-haired Himalayan male
Baine: "If you get your people to move someplace civilized, I would help you hide bodies. Especially the ones who did that to you. It's an affront to feline dignity."
Flufftard: "But, I thought it was kind of...trendy and exciting. Cutting edge. I...less licking? No?"
Baine: "And while we're at it, we need to discuss this name of yours."
Flufftard: "I can slide across the floor! That's fun! No?"
Baine: *looks down his nose* "Fun? FUN?"
Flufftard: "Fluff-tard? You don't...like? What's wrong with my name? I'm named after the great Emperor Flufftardonius XIV"
Flufftard: "Yeah, you know, Fun! You just kinda run in here and you scrabble around like this and sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide on your butt! You try it! See, watch me. WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *thud*"
Baine: "Are you sure you're a cat?"
Flufftard: "I, uh...I think so!"
*Mayoke walks in*
Mayoke: "This? This is a disgrace. This is a failure. This...who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house? Don't touch that, that's mine. And that. And the redhead. Yes, that one too. No, she's mine. I say so."
Baine: "Now that's more like it. Wanna go out for wheatgrass?"
Mayoke: "Well, alright. Do you lick your butt at the table?"
Baine: "Of COURSE not. That's my brother."
Valor: "Hey, how do you do that sliding thing!?"
Flufftard: "Will you be my friend will you will you we can slide on the floor it'll be sweeeeeet!"
Valor: "YEAH! Let's go slide! And then we can block the stairs!"
Flufftard: "Block the stairs block the stairs block the stairs WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE block the stairs block the stairs! Hey, do you ever chase the snobby cats? I like that a lot!"