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Backstory: Holly and I each have one horribly snooty cat and one… - Cat Conversations [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Cat Conversations

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[Sep. 22nd, 2006|01:20 pm]
Cat Conversations


Backstory: Holly and I each have one horribly snooty cat and one sweet-but-dumb cat. Holly's sweet-but-dumb cat can be seen here, sporting his new lion cut. Mine get along with each other most of the time, her two sorta don't.

This is the conversation that would ensue if our cats met.

Cast of characters:
Baine: My snooty cat, long-haired grey tabby male, mostly Maine Coon
Valor: My lovable dimwit cat, shorthaired orange tabby male
Mayoke: Holly's snooty cat, shorthaired Siamese female
Flufftard: Holly's dimwit, normally-long-haired Himalayan male

Baine: "If you get your people to move someplace civilized, I would help you hide bodies. Especially the ones who did that to you. It's an affront to feline dignity."
Flufftard: "But, I thought it was kind of...trendy and exciting. Cutting edge. I...less licking? No?"
Baine: "No."
Baine: "And while we're at it, we need to discuss this name of yours."
Flufftard: "I can slide across the floor! That's fun! No?"
Baine: *looks down his nose* "Fun? FUN?"
Flufftard: "Fluff-tard? You don't...like? What's wrong with my name? I'm named after the great Emperor Flufftardonius XIV"
Flufftard: "Yeah, you know, Fun! You just kinda run in here and you scrabble around like this and sliiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiide on your butt! You try it! See, watch me. WEeeeeeeeeeeeeeee *thud*"
Baine: "Are you sure you're a cat?"
Flufftard: "I, uh...I think so!"
*Mayoke walks in*
Mayoke: "This? This is a disgrace. This is a failure. This...who the hell are you and what are you doing in my house? Don't touch that, that's mine. And that. And the redhead. Yes, that one too. No, she's mine. I say so."
Baine: "Now that's more like it. Wanna go out for wheatgrass?"
Mayoke: "Well, alright. Do you lick your butt at the table?"
Baine: "Of COURSE not. That's my brother."
Valor: "Hey, how do you do that sliding thing!?"
Baine: *facepaw*
Flufftard: "Will you be my friend will you will you we can slide on the floor it'll be sweeeeeet!"
Valor: "YEAH! Let's go slide! And then we can block the stairs!"
Flufftard: "Block the stairs block the stairs block the stairs WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE block the stairs block the stairs! Hey, do you ever chase the snobby cats? I like that a lot!"